(OPENING THEME PLAYING)
T-E-E-N-T-I-T-A-N-S.
3-5-10-6-0.
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Code accepted.
Retinal scan.
Retina accepted.
Enter rhythm code.
(MUSICAL RHYTHM PLAYING)
(DIFFERENT MUSICAL
PLAYING)
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Perfect.
Welcome, Robin.
(YELLS) No!
-(RATTLING)
-(VIDEO GAME NOISES)
(ALL COUGHING)
Alright, where is it?
Which one of you took it?
-Tell me now.
-(COUGHING)
Dude, what are you
talking about?
-Where is my sandwich?
-Uh.
I do not know.
And I do not care.
Yeah, bro.
I know you're serious about
your legendary sandwiches,
but come on!
It wasn't just legendary,
it was perfect.
For years,
I've worked to improve
my sandwich making skills.
I traveled the world
to learn masters
of sandwich construction.
(ASIAN MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNIFFS) Ah!
(SWISHING)
(CHUCKLES)
ROBIN: But I wasn't satisfied.
Every bite I took was
haunted by the knowledge
that I could do better.
Until one night,
it came to me.
The perfect sandwich.
After three days
of work in the lab, I had it.
Perfection on two
slices of bread,
which were also perfect.
All that was left
was to crisp it
in the refrigerator.
However, when I returned,
it was gone.
Well, that's the longest
story about making a sandwich
I ever had to sit through.
Nobody's leaving
this room until I get
to the bottom of this.
-Uh, bye.
-We're out.
Do not worry, Robin.
I am sure you will
find your missing lunch meal.
Oh, I will.
(RATTLING)
(GASPS)
What?
Hey, are you hacking
into my data logs?
-This is an invasion
of privacy.
-(MODEM NOISES)
Sounds like you have
something to hide.
Now, let's see where
you really were when
my sandwich was stolen.
(COMPUTER SOUNDS)
(CYBORG CHUCKLES)
Ooh-hoo!
(GASPS)
Mm. Mm!
Are these padded?
My butt looks so good
in these tights.
Looks like you have an alibi.
Do we need to talk?
STARFIRE: Hello.
Robin, is that you?
ROBIN: Yes.
You are hooked up
to my patent pending
lie detector machine.
So I'll know if you're lying.
Now, did you
steal my sandwich?
I did not.
I was doing the handstands.
And before that I had
the toasts from France
for breakfast.
And before that I was
asleep and before that
I read the book.
And before that I brushed
each of my tooths.
(DINGING)
Yeah, okay, okay.
I've heard enough.
One last question.
Do you love me?
Yes.
Did you just lie to me?
Yes.
I did not wish
to hurt the feelings.
(SIGHS) I see.
Could you learn to love me?
-No.
-Very well.
-Is there any
circumstance where...
-No.
-Thank you for your time.
-(RATTLING)
Are you sure?
Do not eat that taco.
You'll contaminate
a possible crime scene.
Crime scene?
What are you talking
about, dude?
Inside you're tummy.
I didn't eat
your sandwich, dude.
I'm a vegetarian.
Or are you?
Raven, transport me
into Beast Boy's stomach.
-Okay.
-(GROANING)
(SCREAMING)
Aw, maybe I should
have shrunk him first.
-(BURPING)
-(SPUTTERING)
(GASPING)
No sign of the sandwich
in there.
Dude, come on!
Going inside Beast Boy,
injecting Starfire,
hacking my very
sensitive files.
I don't even know
what you did to Raven.
-He asked, I said no.
-Really, that's all?
You must release
yourself of this sandwich
obsession, Robin.
Let it go, dude.
No way! Never letting things
go is what makes me
a good crime fighter.
Oh, come on, man.
You gotta let some things go.
Like what are you
going to do when Starfire
marries some dude?
Plans have been made.
Now, let's see.
(VOCALIZES)
The thief was smart,
agile, well-trained.
So that eliminates
all of you.
I got it!
(CHUCKLES)
It's so obvious.
There's only one person
that could have gotten
past my defenses.
-Me!
-(DINGS)
You ate of the sandwich?
Not me now, future me.
It's so clear.
I never got over
the taste of that
perfect sandwich.
I was so haunted by it
that I traveled back in time
to eat it again
before I ever ate it
in the first place.
Robin has left the tower.
Seriously, man, let it go.
Never!
To the time machine!
BEAST BOY:
Where'd you get
a time machine?
(COMPUTER SCANNING NOISES)
ROBIN: There I am.
Let's get me.
-You guys coming?
-Nah, we're just
gonna hang here.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Honey, I'm home.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm just kidding.
I live alone.
(GRUNTS)
Where is it?
Whoa, young me.
-How's it going?
-Don't play dumb.
Just remember.
Anything I do to my body now
affects yours in the future.
Now talk.
Huh?
Okay, then we'll do it
the hard way.
Aw! Ugh!
(GRUNTS)
You feel that,
future self?
Uh, I guess
I remember it hurting.
Oh yeah?
How about this?
(GROANING)
How about that?
Oh, yeah.
(CHUCKLES)
That totally stung.
Robin, stop!
You are injuring yourself
over the sandwich.
Oh, the perfect sandwich.
(CHUCKLES)
That's what this is all about.
Yeah, I was super
bummed when that vanished.
But you learn
to let things go.
Now, I know you're lying.
I would never
let anything go.
Besides, I don't need
your confession.
You're me and I know me.
There's only one place
I'd put it.
The sandwich
is in your refrigerator.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
Let's not go crazy here.
See, no sandwich.
Just sadness.
No! That's impossible.
So long, weirdo.
Ah! It is nice
to have visitors.
(CROAKS)
Man, I'm bored.
Argh, I know.
Oh, lets prank call
our future selves.
Yeah.
-(DIALING)
-(RINGING)
-Hello, is this Cyborg?
-(INDISTINCT MUMBLING)
I was wondering
if your refrigerator
is running.
Then you better catch it.
Booyah!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
My turn, my turn, my turn!
-(DIALING)
-(RINGING)
(CLEARS THROAT) Hi.
(CHUCKLES)
Is Beast Boy there?
-(INDISTINCT MUMBLING)
-He did?
How?
Really?
Well, um,
I'm sorry to hear that.
(WHIMPERS)
Dude, are you okay?
(WHINES)
(MEEKLY)
That was a bad idea.
We still on
the sandwich thing?
-Yeah.
-I got it!
Old me did steal the sandwich,
but then the sandwich...
Grew legs and walked away?
Legs? No, stay with me,
Cyborg that's ridiculous.
It floated away.
Of course it did, Robin.
(WHISPERS)
We should call the doctor.
To the teleporter.
We don't have a teleporter.
Oh, where are we now?
I made that sandwich,
uh, a little too perfect.
So perfect that when old me
didn't eat it immediately,
it evolved into
a super-intelligence
and traveled into space
to learn about the nature
of the universe.
Robin, perhaps it is time
to simply let it go.
(CHUCKLES) Let it go.
Never!
ROBIN:
Sandwich, where are you?
I am sorry your sandwich
went missing,
but it's definitely not here
on some alien planet...
(PLANET RUMBLING)
Welcome, travelers.
It is I, the perfect sandwich.
After Future Robin
stole me,
I escaped from his
one-bedroom apartment
and came here
to ponder the universe.
Huh, I told you.
And through meditation,
I have realized
life's greatest secret.
Oh, tell us please.
That the sandwich
is the supreme form of life
and all others
must be destroyed.
Goodbye.
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Titans, go!
(YELPING)
(CRUNCHING)
Oh!
(GROANS)
Ahhh! Ahhh!
(SCREAMS)
Ahhh!
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
Nothing can destroy
the perfect sandwich.
Nothing except the mouth
of its creator.
-What are you waiting for?
-For you to say it.
Say what?
That I was right.
You should never
let things go.
-Fine, in some situations...
-Nope, never.
You were right, Robin,
and you should never
let the things go.
Thank you.
(CHOMPS)
(YELLS)
(GOBBLING)
Perfect.
Guys, I stayed up all night
making this amazing video
and I wanted to share it
with my closest friends.
-Oh, wonderful.
-Well, share away, bro.
Somebody's flexing
their creative muscles.
Why not?
ROBIN: Cyborg.
You know him as a superhero.
Aw, you made
a video about me?
Quiet.
ROBIN: But did you
also know that Cyborg
is also a gigantic jerk?
(GASPS)
No, I did not know that.
Just look at what
the security cameras
caught him saying
about his best friend
Beast Boy.
Dude, I think Beast Boy's
super lame and so annoying.
Ah!
Cyborg, how could you?
What? I never said...
That was taken out of context.
And if you think that's bad,
just look what we
caught Beast Boy saying.
Yeah, bro. Cyborg is gross
and stupid and super weird.
What?
You really
think I'm super weird?
Guys, obviously he just
edited those clips together
to make you look bad.
You're the one who's annoying!
I'm not the one who's gross,
not me!
(BOTH ARGUING)
Okay, okay, you're gonna
miss the best part.
This election, vote for
a leader whose not afraid
to tell you the hard truth.
Vote for Robin.
This message was paid
for by the Teen Titans
and endorsed by Robin.
The views expressed
may or may not be accurate.
Any resemblances
to real persons
is purely coincidental.
(CLAPPING)
Oh, that was very
well made, Robin.
What was all that about?
The election for team leader
is coming up.
And I'm ready to do whatever
it takes to win.
But I'm not even
running against you.
No one is.
Exactly. I crush my opponents
even before they start.
How do you think
George Washington
became the first President?
By inspiring a country
with is military leadership
and humility?
(SCOFFS) That's lame.
I would have been
a better President
than that doofus.
Do we even vote
for team leader?
Don't you remember last year?
One vote for Robin.
Oh, and no one else voted.
That makes it official.
Robin is reelected
as team leader.
Congratulations, Robin.
(IMITATING CROWD WHOOPING
AND CHEERING)
Thank you, thank you.
It is an honor.
You're going to do great,
you handsome little man.
(VOCALIZING HAIL TO THE CHIEF)
I'm expecting another
landslide victory.
So, you losers better
not even think about
running against me.
Can I count on your vote?
Whoo! Whoo!
(ALARM SOUNDING)
Titans, go!
(LAUGHS MANICALLY)
(GASPS)
(LASERS FIRING)
(BELLOWING)
(GASPS) Friends, look.
The television
is speaking of us.
Breaking news.
The Teen Titans save
the day again
and it's all caught on video.
Oh, this must be
from my epic victory against
the H.I.V.E. yesterday.
Your victory?
We were all there.
Funny.
That's not how I remember it.
Let's just watch
the video I provided
the local news station.
(BELLOWING)
Really, bro?
How could you?
Yes, Robin, how could
you keep your four amazing
quadruplet brothers a secret
for all of these years?
I wish to meet the one
with the physique
similar to mine.
No. How could you
take credit for our work?
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
But I think we can all agree
the video proves
I would make the best leader.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(VOCALIZING HAIL TO THE CHIEF)
He has finally gone too far.
Someone needs to talk
some sense into him.
And I know exactly who.
(WHISTLING YANKEE DOODLE)
Hey, what's up guys?
Robin, we feel you have
lost the vision of what
is most important in a leader.
So, I used a time machine
to bring one of history's
greatest leaders here
to remind you what
leadership is all about.
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
(MY COUNTRY 'TIS OF THEE
PLAYING)
(SCREECHING)
It is a pleasure
to make your acquaintance.
Whoa, George Washington?
The one and only.
Dude, who's that old lady?
Show some respect.
I think it's the grandma
who's on the back
of the dollar bill.
Oh, Money Grandma.
She's rad.
Being a true leader, Robin,
is like being a gardener.
You must tend to your friends
like you might
a small sapling.
For only by working together
towards a common goal
can a true team
with the strength
of a mighty oak be formed.
I think I understand.
You want to run
for team leader against me?
-I will ruin you, Washington.
-(SCREECHES)
Robin, you misunderstand.
-He merely...
-Such insolence!
Alright, you little Red Coat.
If you want to test my mettle,
you shall find me ready
to deliver a quality
trashing indeed.
Bring it on!
-I will bring it on.
-(BOTH GRUNTING)
-Take that, Georgie Porgie.
-Stop it.
-Stop it. Stop it now.
-Oh, you're still
with the old school.
(BOTH ARGUING)
BEAST BOY & CYBORG:
Fight! Fight, Fight!
Fight! Fight!
Was this your plan, Raven?
More or less.
(PUNCHES LANDING
& CRASHING)
You get him, Money Grandma!
(PATRIOTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
(OVEN DINGS)
(GRUNTS)
(INAUDIBLE)
(EXCLAIMING)
-(CHATTERING)
-(CRYING)
(GRINDING TEETH)
-(ALL APPLAUDING)
-(CAMERAS CLICKING)
(BURPING)
My brave friends,
together we can form
a more perfect team.
A group brought together
by discipline
to stop evil in its tracks
and truly earn the name Titan.
(ALL CHEERING)
-Preach to us, Money Grandma!
-You've got this,
Money Grandma.
(GAVEL SOUNDS)
(CROONS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
It has been said
of my opponent
that he cannot tell a lie.
(CHUCKLES) Guilty as charged.
Earlier today,
did you not ask,
"do you smell that?"
in regards
to a noxious odor?
(STAMMERING)
I recall that, yes.
Yes, okay.
Then I ask you,
good sir,
where you not in fact
responsible for that odor?
(STAMMERING)
I... Well, you see,
here's the thing.
You are evading.
No. No.
It's just that...
Answer the question,
President Washington!
Yes!
Yes, it's true. I farted.
I smelt it and it
was I who dealt it.
(ALL GASPING)
I rest my case.
One vote for Washington.
One vote for Robin.
-It's a tie.
-What?
You guys didn't vote?
-No.
-Of course not.
I'm not into politics.
Then how shall we
break the tie?
There's only one way
to settle this, Washington.
BOTH: Fisticuffs!
And the winner
will lead the Titans.
Robin, you can't fight
George Washington.
Yeah, you leave
that sweet, old woman alone.
Not a chance.
(VOCALIZING KUNG FU SOUNDS)
(BANJO MUSIC PLAYING)
I've cut down more
than cherry trees
with this ax, child.
By the power of America!
(YELLS) I have the power!
(SCREECHES)
(ROBIN GROANS)
(WASHINGTON GRUNTS)
Freedom shield!
Money Grandma
ain't messing around, yo!
Liberty punch!
(BELL RINGING)
(SCREAMS)
(ROBIN GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
Monument bash!
(GROANS)
Do you yield?
(GROANS) I yield.
Good lad.
Are you the okay, Robin?
I see now I was wrong.
I wanted to win this election
so badly I forgot what being
a true leader really means.
So, effective immediately,
George Washington
is the leader
of the Teen Titans.
ROBIN: Sorry, guys.
I'm sorry you won't be
around to see me become
the greatest leader ever!
Robin, what are you doing?
You can read about it
in the history books.
(CHUCKLES)
Guys, look!
-He didn't.
-He did.
MAN: After defeating
the British with his
sweet Kung Fu moves,
Robin became
the first President
of the United States.
Was this also a part
of the plan, Raven?
More or less.